Friday, August 31:

I am freaking out over my new digital camera. It's a Canon Powershot SD1000. It was cheap! And it's so cool! And tiny! It's blowing my mind! I took the Bush picture on the way to work today. Look at the colors! The lizard picture was taken yesterday with my behemoth Epson camera. I think Lucy was hot. She was soaking her belly in her water dish. I tried to get a closer picture of her with the new camera and I nearly got a face full of lizard tail. Me and Lucy feel the same way about getting our pictures taken.

But about technology again...I didn't grow up with phones that take pictures. The fact that they do now is amazing. Cel phones themselves are amazing. Scanners at the grocery store are amazing. Faucets that turn on when you walk in front of them are amazing. So if I appreciate the advances in motion sensor faucets over the years you can only imagine the joy and wonder I am experiencing over my new camera. It's about as big as the space that the Epson used for batteries and it cost $700 less than the Epson (bought in 2000). How is it that people can get work done when there are cheap, tiny cameras inciting them to go outside and take pictures of things? Why isn't everyone as impressed with my new purchase as I am? Look how tiny it is! The battery looks like a little wafer! Ah, to hell with this--I'm going outside.

Monday, August 27:

I finally wrote another episode for the "Watch Me Create" group blog. It's about squids. You can read it if you click on the link up there.

I'm building a habitat for Lucy, the remaining iguana, in the front of the store. There she should be able to bask in the sun in the late afternoons and maybe even peep out the front window. Since it was quite a bit of trouble relocating the glass crates that were up front and maneuvering a large tree branch into the area, I can almost be assured that she will not want to use it once it's done. It might even anger her. That's usually what happens when I try to help. I'll let you know how it goes.

Friday, August 24:

I was going through some disks to find some nice Iggy pictures and I can't believe I found the original picture I used to make the Iggy/Godzilla piece. I thought that got thrown out on a floppy disk a long time ago. That was probably the first picture I ever took of her with my old-schooly 35mm camera. She was just 4 then. She reminds me of Bob De Niro in that picture.

Ug. Well, anyway things went ok at the vet. They agreed I was doing the right thing. I guess that's the most important part. We brought her in in a big Sterelite container. Since she can't bend her tail Don cut a big hole in the side so her tail could stick out. It looked pretty strange. When we were walking in a guy asked Don what was in the container and he said it was a dog. I didn't hear the exchange. Don just told me about it later to make me laugh, which it did. I've known Iggy and Don for almost the same amount of time. Lotta years. We had Iggy cremated. I'm planning on having Don stuffed when the time comes.

Thanks for all the nice emails. It's been a rough week.

Thursday, August 23:

Whelp, the house and the store are now free of everyone's belongings but those that belong to Don and myself. The house seems kind of empty now, which is interesting considering all of the crap that we own.

So, one other project I need to get through this month is having one of my iguanas put down. Iggy is really old (14) and is suffering the effects of metabolic bone disease. Her body hasn't worked right in a really long time. Even though she is so impaired it's been the hardest thing ever to call the vet and scheudule this appointment because she still wants to eat her food almost every day. I think I'll be able to jump back into work when this is all over and I won't have to think about doing it anymore. That's how things usually go. Right now thoughts of her are consuming me and I can't get any work done. We're going in tommorrow morning.

Tuesday, Aug. 21:

I'm still caught up in moving. Back real soon.

Friday, August 17:

I finally set foot in the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art today. The building has been there for years and admission is free but for some reason I've never been compelled to go inside. I went in today to see a collage exhibit by a guy named Jess. That was pretty neat but I also ended up seeing the least interesting art exhibit that I have ever seen in my life. The exhibit was some kind of an homage to Brett Farve by a guy named Tim Laun. I've never heard of Tim Laun so I don't know...maybe he is really great at something. One piece that struck me as being incredibly strange was this huge thing called "Cyclorama" . It was this 20ft diameter oak platform upon which were arranged dozens of little plaster TV sets, one for each game Farve played in. I give artists a lot of leeway when they make stuff that I don't get but something about that is just fucked up to me. The message that Tim Laun loves Brett Farve is pretty obvious but how did it get into the MMOCA? My head is actually hurting now from going to that exhibit. I'm scared and confused by what's out there.

Tuesday, August 14:

I've probably explained to you before about how Madison rolls with respect to moving but it's so asinine that it bears repeating. Basically, everyone who rents an apartment has their lease end on the same day--today--and their new lease doesn't kick in until noon tommorrow. So everyone and their stuff is homeless for at least a day...more if you want your new apartment to be clean or painted when you move in. (Mostly wishful thinking, that.) So if you're considerate and you abide by the get your ass out on the 14th rule you end up having to move your stuff twice. It could not be any more inconvinient, really.

I'm not moving myself-- I'm just experiencing it vicariously through Brad and James. They are storing all of their belongings at the studio and at the house while they wait for the new lease to kick in. The level of fullness achieved by our properties defies description. I'll be out of the office tommorow helping them move into their new place. Beads will be mailed out on Thursday after I get access to them again.

I've got a new creature on Ebay. It's really cute. Folks at the beer fest reacted quite favorably toward it. Drunk people "get" me. That's why I like them.

Monday, August 13:

Well, the Oracle is fading fast. It recieved some mail the best of which was an award given to me by my overseas pal Jennifer Dangerfield. Since I am dumb, I don't know how to permanently embed it in my site but you can view it full here through my image host. Proud, proud I am to recieve this award. I'm going to print it out and put it on the refrigerator. The best ones are the handmade ones, you know.

So, holy crickets! Last weekend was the Great Taste Of The Midwest. I'm wiped out today. The Taste is an enormous festival for craft beer brewers. There aren't any rides or music stages cause people tend to make their own fun when there's 500 different beers to drink. The above picture is of my pals Erica, Missy and Aaron proudly displaying things they found in the garbage on the way home. The Taste always coincides with a whole other level of insanity, moving week, which makes the walk home kind of like a treasure hunt. It was the greatest time ever, as always.

Wednesday, August 8:

Feedback on the "Ask the Nebula" idea has been positive so I'm going to run with that...except I'm changing "Nebula" to "Oracle" because I think it sounds cooler. The Oracle/bruise continues to expand. I think it could be an omniscient being of some kind. I don't know how wise it is but if it really is omniscient it probably knows something we don't. I set up an email account for the bruise yesterday so you can ask it a question, if you want. The address is ask_the_bigassbruise@yahoo.com. I know a forum where you could view all the questions and answers would be more fun but the Oracle thought that sounded like too much work. Extra work makes the Oracle angry.

Now my need for blog material is starting to over ride both my modesty and my common sense. I feel like a picture of my ass bruise has to become a part of the blog.

This goes against a important credo that I hold dear which is: Always assume that people do not want to see your bare ass. It's just the polite thing to do. It's a small planet and there's only so many places to avert your eyes. I know I'm not solitary in this belief but I sometimes feel that I'm in the minority what with the popularity of the low pants. Cover your shame, people!

Anyway, that being said, I'm going to post a link to a picture of my ass now. It's been cropped so that it's really just a picture of a giant bruise. The substrate beneath the giant bruise is my ass so you'll be looking at that too. FYI. Don't look if you don't want to. No one's nailing your hand to the mouse. Here's the link.

I should have stuck a quarter in there for scale. Rats. It's about 6"x4" now.

Anyhoo, if you have a question you want to ask the giant bruise/oracle please email it to: ask_the_bigassbruise@yahoo.com and the bruise will answer as best it can. Questions must be brief. NO FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS OR REPLYS TO THE ORACLE'S ANSWERS. Only one question per email address, please...except for Jean Yates. She can have two questions because she pleases the oracle. Persons expecting deep or truthful or insightful answers should stop doing that as it will only result in disappointment. I'll try to post at least some of the Oracle's musings in my blog so whatever content you have in your email may appear here. FYI.

Monday, August 5:

Moving Week is nearly upon us. People are throwing stuff away but not really in earnest yet. Here's the first of probably many soon to be recycled canvasses that's been rescued from the garbage and stored at our house. Ugly. And how. I think the person in the picture could be Mel Gibson but there's no way to tell for sure.

In other news, Don and I went to Chicago this weekend for his Peace Corps reunion thing. The first thing I did when I got there was fall down the stairs in the parking garage. Confident that I could do two things at once I removed my hand from the railing to unwrap a piece of nicotine gum and down I went. When I came to a stop I still had the gum in my hand so I must have opted to hold onto it rather than make a grab at the railing. Things I wish I'd done differently. Anyway, I landed right on my ass. The resulting bruise that's developing is so huge and colorful that it is probably the most interesting thing in my life right now. I'll probably talk about it a lot. Today it measures 6"x3" and it's shaped sort of like a hedgehog or maybe an angry cloud. We're taking a picture of it every day to document it's genesis. My friend Brad, who is full of good ideas, saw one of the pictures and started referring to the bruise as "The Nebula" and suggested that we start a forum called "Ask The Nebula" where people could solicit advice from my bruised ass. That made me laugh, which made my ass hurt. I would really like to show it to you but modesty and common sense prevent me from broadcasting my flabby, middle-age junk on the internets.

Thursday, August 2:

I made a drinking wessel. It's about 7" tall or so. I'm not going to let you look at it up close because it's pretty wonky. The top part (it has a name but I can't remember it) is just a length of heavy walled tubing. No big whoop though it was still really hard to make this thing. There are some fundamental things about boro that make my life difficult. Like getting your puntys to stay on and come off when you want them to, and making those little loops on the tops of pendants. Those are the big two for me. Everything else--it's taking some time but I'm starting to get it.

Unfortunately, now it's getting too damn hot to work with the doors open. I'm especially worried about Cracker the hedgehog who lives in the office area ajacent to the studio. Cracker is obese and so paranoid about people that she will not leave her polar fleece and courderoy bag even when it's 90 degrees in here. I'm afraid she's going to have cardiac arrest someday. It isn't any cooler at the house either. So me and Cracker are just sitting in the a/c at the store today. Maybe later I'll let her bite my hand or something. She'd like that.

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