Monday, July 30:

Ah, that tomato was just fine. Delicious, in fact.

So back to the bug. I found a dead moth on the floor when I was cleaning our bedroom so I glued it to the upstairs Red Phone (that's the telephone we imagine to be for very important calls like ones from the President and such) and made a little word bubble coming out of it's mouth area. Then I laughed and laughed at the thought of Don finding it. This is something I do a lot, actually. You should try it yourself. All you need is a dead bug and a post-it note.

The bug might have gone undiscovered for days but as luck would have it the battery on the regular downstairs phone went out on the same day as the moth installation. Unfortunatley, Don missed my little gag entirely because the one time that the phone rang he answered it without first turning on the light in the Red Phone room. He also missed the call because he had to run all the way upstairs. When he came back downstairs I asked him about the bug and he didn't know what the hell I was talking about. Oh well. The important thing, as always, is that I was amused.

Oh, Hey! I put two little space squid pendants up on EBay. They're not my usual thing so they may not sell for much. I think they're the best thing ever. There's kind of a lot involved in making those guys--more than you'd think anyway. They have boro reptile murrine eyes. I think they're pretty cool. Go look at 'em!

Sunday, July 29:

I haven't talked much about my tomatoes this year. For some reason I'm not as attatched to this year's plants. Last year I had for plants named Harold, Lew, Don and Phil (after the Statler Brothers, inexplicably). Four plants was too many for my teeny raised bed garden so this year I planted five and then a bonus miracle tomato plant came up all on it's own. So now I have six plants and not enough love to go around. Lotsa tomatoes, though.

One of my plants is afflicted with Blossom End Rot. I learned that from the internets. The ends of all the tomatoes have what I refer to as "black shit" on them. I guess it's some kind of fungus. Harold had it last year. It's annoying because it's taking out all the decent sized tomatoes I have. I want to find out if you can cut off the black shit and still eat the tomato. The BER article I read said simply that the tomatoes with BER were "worthless", which seems harsh and a little dramatic to me. I think the tomatoes look like they'd be ok if you just cut off the end. I've already decided to eat that tomato in the picture. I'll let you know how that goes.

I've gotta put the dead bug story on hold. I have to run home real quick. James needs a can of soup!

Thursday, July 26:

I made a squid out of that borosilicate glass. After several embarassing attempts at squid rendering I think this one is just the way I imagined it ought to be. I guess he looks more like a one eyed jellyfish but I'm calling him a squid. My creature, my rules. These guys are strong too. I was absent mindedly swinging one around last night and it hit a pint glass. The squid was fine but the glass was totaled. Nice to know they're sturdy.

I hope to have some of these up on Ebay in the future. Right now they take forever to make but they're a lot of fun so it kinda balances out.

Tuesday, July 24:

I need a nickname. I'm not sure why this started but now all of the Lost School band members have nicknames. Don has three--"Dutch", "Virus" and "Spellcheck" (also "Dong", now that I think about it)--depending on what he's doing at the time. Dave the bass player is "Floods", Sean the guitarist is "Porkchop" and the sometimes drummer Paul is "Buster". I named James, the singer, "Hives" because he has a lot of allergies though I'm not sure if that one will stick. Bob Foster is "Snippy". I'm the only one who hasn't settled on one for sure though I have some ideas: "Stubbs" because I have really short toes or "Squids" because I like making glass squids.

Everyone seems to like "Squids" better than "Stubbs". I like "Squids" too. I may go with that but I have a nagging feeling that there might be a better nickname for me out there. Can you guys think of any? The likelyhood of a relative stranger coming up with a nickname is slim but you can Email me if you think of one. It's kind of important because if I can come up with a nickname and integrate it into everyone's consciousness so thouroughly that they stop calling me "Cathy" and only refer to me only as "Squids" (or whatever) Don will get that nickname tattooed on his arm. While I can hardly see Don getting a tattoo, he doesn't bullshit about anything so he must be willing to do this. I just have to get everyone to use the name, which they will if they know what's good for them.

It is exactly this sort of activity that breaks the monotony in my existence.

Saturday, July 21:

I have a really funny story for you. I swear to god it's true. It actually happened a few years ago. I forgot about it until I found this envelope. The envelope contains thank you notes to Don from some little girls who came and took a tour of the brew pub.

The little girls, who were maybe 8 years old or so, attended a Montessori school. I guess one of the practices peculiar to Montessori schools is that in certain situations the kids are supposed to operate independently from adults. Adults are around but they don't interfere with the planning of or the carrying out of certain events. The girls were studying flowers in school and they wanted to learn about other useful flowers such as hops which, as we all know, is a main ingredient in beer. They wanted to augment their education with a field trip so they called the Great Dane Brew Pub and set up an appointment for a tour to learn about hops. I know it sounds strange but I guess that's how they roll at Montessori schools.

So Don met with the girls and gave them a tour and bestowed upon them his vast knowledge of hops. The girls thanked him and went back to school. About a week later Don got an envelope in the mail containing the requisite thank you notes. Adults did not help the kids write the notes, decorate the cards nor did they try to correct the children's erroneous assumption that Don's name is "Dong". This is the punch line. Don received an envelope full of meticulously decorated cards thanking Dong up and down for taking the time to teach them about hops. Here is one card, and another, and finally, my favorite one. All that time arranging and pasting tiny bits of paper and not once did anyone ask "Are you sure he said his name was "Dong"?" Too funny!

Thursday, July 19:

For want of anything better to do yesterday I decide to make a catfish based upon a design I drew up for Lake Louie Brewing Co. several years ago. Tom Porter, owner/operator of Lake Louie puts this fish design on beer bottles and on all of the swag he sells--t-shirts and what-not. (Sadly, the swag is not yet available on the internet.)Lake Louie's Scotch Ale is among the top 100 beers in America. That's no small beans considering that Lake Louie is pretty tiny and the U.S. has a shit ton of breweries. So yay for Tom and yay for my catfish.

In other news, I think I'm winning against the bathroom ants. There's something enormously satisfying about watching them eat the Terro ant bait. I feel like I'm outsmarting something for a change. Time will tell if I am or not.

Tuesday, July 17:

I made my fish that's supposed to remind you of Carmen Miranda. It is very tropical, yes? Teeth, check. Heavy-lidded eyes, check. Crazy fruit themed hat, check. That's about the best I can do. Here's the link to the new fish!

Right now, while I am at work, I am killing ants back at the house with Terro brand liquid ant killer. We've got an infestation of tiny, tiny ants in our upstairs bathroom--probably not coincidentally the one room that seems to be free of house centipedes. I noticed them coming from a pin sized hole in the caulk at the base of the tub. I thought the'd go away on their own because there isn't any food in the bathroom. Soon it became clear that they were busy constructing some fantastic ant civilization in the bath mat. Gross. I washed everything and put out the Terro and I'm expecting everything to be cleared up by the time I get home. I love Terro. If you haven't tried it you should.

Monday, July 16:

I made a tiny bowl of fruit. Pretty happy with that. It's been a while since I worked small. Hopefully soon there will be a fish wearing this as a hat and hopefully that fish will remind you of Carmen Miranda.

Speaking of fish, guess what was falling out the collective asshole of the Art Fair On the Square--that's right, fish! So many fish. Each one was cool and different from it's neighbor--some really great fish--but the sheer density of the product made the whole concept of fish making seem very unoriginal. It kind of bummed me out and it made me not want to make fish on Sunday. I'm over that now that I'm back home in my bubble and I have my fruit hat.

Saturday, July 14:

The Art Fair on the Square is this weekend. With 500 vendors and an attendance estimate of 200,000 it's reputed to be one of the larger shows in the midwest. Equally impressive as the show is an event that occurs the night before which is the midwest's largest clusterfuck of vans, trucks and U-hauls all trying to get up to the sqaure to unload their stuff at the same time. If you don't believe me go to Google Earth and find the Capitol building in Madison and see what a narrow strip of land we're on. AND there's a second art fair, the Art Fair Off the Square ( vendors) going on at the same time that stretches from 1 block away from the Capitol to the Convention Center. A larger clusterfuck you will not find. We're #1!

I've gotten in the show twice (before I was into and also just after I got into making beads--I've also been turned down 11 times) and it is actually worth braving any number of trials just to be there. The second time we figured out that parking the truck somewhere nearby during the daytime and then hauling the stuff up on a cart at night is the way to go. We got set up in about an hour that way.

I've never seen with my own eyeballs anyone up there selling beads unless they were made into jewelry. This does not mean they are not there it just means I haven't seen them. I intend to wander around up there tommorrow and see what I can see. I'll probably get tired of being there after about two minutes but I'll try to stick it out. 200,000 people. Who am I trying to kid?

Friday, July 13:

I bought an alien head cookie jar off of Ebay. I thought it might look nice on top of the organ in lieu of a bust of Beetoven. It does look nice but it creeps Don out so I guess we'll hang onto it until someone needs an urn for their ashes.

I can't believe the bottle of Moutai is back in our house...and there's still a lot left in it. I don't think I blogged about this Chinese liquor before. I know I talked about it in an auction because it inspired the bead name "Three Shots Of Moutai". Anyways, Don was gifted this bottle several months ago by the folks from China who are fabricating the brewing system for The Great Dane (3) where Don works as brewmaster. Don brought the booze in for show and tell and drink at Lost School. Some of us tasted it but most were not able to get past the foul smell. I find Moutai difficult to describe because it is unlike anything I've ever tasted or smelled before. The smell and taste do not go away even if you eat or drink other things. It hides in your gasterointestinal tract and pops back up randomly even hours later. It's just foul. Really, really foul. And it's flammable too--it lights up just like Sterno.

Since the bottle was meant to be shared with everyone, Don took it back to work. I think this was in March. We sort of forgot about the bottle though the word "Moutai" has been worked into our lexicon as a war-cry. Then just the other day a pal of Don's (a broker of brewing systems) shows up for cocktails at the house carrying the same bottle of Moutai that we tried to hand off months before. We had to smell it again. And I guess we have to keep it this time, since it came back and all. MOUTAI!!!

Wednesday, July 11:

The organ doctor came to the house this morning to make sure everything was ok with our new instrument. He happened to come in while I was watching "How It's Made" during a segment about pipe organ making. Isn't that freaky? The universe must have really wanted me to learn about organs today.

The man was really nice and knowledgable. He was also the first male that I've spoken to recently that doesn't snicker when he says the word "organ". I mean it. In the past week we've heard every possible "Don's big organ" joke that there is. "How does your wife like the big organ?" or "Is your living room big enough to hold Don's organ?" They just never seem to get tired of it. As long as the jokes bring joy to the tellers I'll keep laughing at them.

Sunday, July 8:

I made a glass nose with eyes on it. It can wear hats. I don't know where I'm going with this.

Saturday, July 7:

Well, the boys managed to cram the organ into the living room. It fits and it's friggin' awesome. Now Don can play dramatic chords whenever Bob Foster enters or exits the house. So already our lives are richer. It blocks the living room door a bit so I don't know if a large number of people would be able to leave the space in the event of a fire but you take the bad with the good.

Friday, July 6:

I took out Don's stitches the other day. I figured since the accident was partially my fault I should try to help. They were big, looping, man stitches so they were really easy to remove. That was kind of fun. If any of you out there have stitches you want removed just ask. I'll do it for free.

So last night I came home and there was this big, old organ on the porch--an organ like you'd find in church. It may have been in a church at one point. It's actually in great shape. Someone gave it to Don and now we are going to try and cram it into the living room. When I say "we" I mean Don and three other people because the thing weighs about 400lbs. This is going to be funny.

Thursday, July 5:

Hey! There's an interchangable head creature up on Ebay...at least there will be by 7:15 pm this evening (CST). Click on the EBay Auction link above the creature to see if it's there yet.

Wednesday, July 4:

Happy Independence Day! I've got a brush with fame story for you today. Know that Larry the Cable Guy? I don't know much about him but he's big in Don's home state of Nebraska. One of the micro breweries down there has brewed a beer and named it after Larry's famous "Git R Done" catch phrase. That's how big LTCG is in NE.

Anyhoodle, Don's friend Al, who lives in Nebraska, who is also my friend, called Don to tell him that his (Al's) sister's husband euthanized Larry the Cable Guy's dog. I did not ask but I'm going to assume that Larry's dog was sick and that Al's sister's husband is a licensed veterinarian. That will make it easier for me to proffer up this tidbit at cocktail parties.

Tuesday, July 3:

It was nice out on Sunday so me and Don were trying to figure out something we could do outside. Since we're a pretty destination-oriented couple we decided to take a motorcycle ride to the grocery store to pick up a rotisserie chicken. (Mmmm...chicken.) I knew carrying a hot chicken on the bike would be difficult but I didn't care because I love chicken. Something would be figured out. Fortunately, right on the way there we came across a flea market where we found this nifty vintage picnic basket shaped like a watermelon...and it was only $7.00. I'm not much of a basket or purse carrier and I don't go on picnics but this thing is really cool. It's got little olive-shaped wooden beads for seeds. And a chicken fits right inside of it. It's a very conspicuous thing with which to walk around. Complete strangers will come up to me and say "Nice basket" as they admire my good taste in wicker. The reception is similar to one that one would get when walking an especially handsome dog.

Since I like my basket so much I thought I'd try to find one on Ebay for you all to enjoy. Here's the link. Of course the Ebay one costs more but...it's probably still worth it.

Speaking of Ebay, I've got some great beads up including a Drunk Sun. Go look at 'em all.

Monday, July 2:

Hello, everyone. I was slacking off for a while there on account of the birthday. Not doing anything special just not working. Had my party on Saturday. I recieved as gifts two bottles of burbon and a kite shaped like a giant moth. We hung the moth kite in the kitchen beneath the light fixture. It looks cool there.

The second installment of the creature project is up on the Watch Me Create blog. The link is right up yonder. Not much else going on here right now.

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