Friday, September 28:

It was a really nice day today so I just kept walking after I went to the post office. While wandering around I decided to get a closer look at what was left of a Richard Haas mural that he painted on a cement wall running along John Nolen Drive. The city comissioned the mural in 1987 for around $60-64K (if I remember correctly). Like all public art in Madison, everyone hated something about this piece be it the location, the price we paid or the work itself. It was repetedly vandalized and ten years later an overpass to the Frank Lloyd Wright Convention Center was built right in front of it. We don't speak of the Haas mural anymore. I never cared much for it myself but I still think it's a little sad that it's rotting away beneath an underpass. In the spooky darkness it does have a certain relic-like quality that I enjoy. Doubtless, the people who live under the underpass enjoy it too.

Here's a picture from Haas' website of what the painting looked like back in the day. I don't out and out love his stuff but you have to appreciate how skilled he is with the illusionist thing. And you have to wonder about someone going through the trouble and the expense of comissioning him to paint a mural and then building an underpass right in front of it.

Wednesday, September 26:

Check out my shiny new garbage can! Everyone in the city gets one of these on account of they're replacing all of the garbage ladies and gentlemen with giant robotic trucks that will collect refuse without injury or complaint. Normal outdoor garbage cans never worked for me because they'd get knocked over by creatures or the lids would blow away and they'd fill up with water. As a result I always had to store a weeks worth of garbage in the store which, by Tuesday or so, would fill with the noisome odor of rotting collard greens or whatever the lizards were eating that week. Oh how my quality of life has improved since I got my new garbage can.

Now if we want to throw something away it has to fit in this garbage can--including your old garbage can which is now obsolete. If you want to recycle your old garbage can you have to place it in your green recycling garbage can. Though explicit rules apply to what you can and cannot throw away, I don't know how they can police them when it's a robot picking up your garbage. Who's to stop me if I wanted to throw away, say, flouroscent light bulbs or yard waste or a dead body? The human driving the truck can't see what's going on, I don't think. Just food for thought.

Hey, did you catch the word of the day in the above blog entry? It was sent to me by my pal Annie who got it off of a word of the day dealie on the internets. Normally I'd like to find my own word but this one was appropose of the entry so I used it. The word is:

noisome \NOY-sum\, adjective:
1. Noxious; harmful; unwholesome.
2. Offensive to the smell or other senses; disgusting.

Noisome is from Middle English noysome, from noy, "harm," short for anoy, from Old French, from anoier, "to annoy."  (1382, "harmful, noxious," from noye "harm, misfortune," shortened form of anoi "annoyance" (from O.Fr. anoier, see annoy) + -some. Meaning "bad-smelling" first recorded 1577.)

Tuesday, September 25:

Here's a site for you to look at. This gal, Katelyn Alain, has her MFA show up at the downtown post office. They have a nice little gallery there. The shows are kind of hit and and miss quality wise but this one is really, really great. Alain's work is mostly life-size surreal looking portraits. The website pictures are small and do not do the real paintings justice. Definately worth checking out if you're in downtown Madison.

Man, I am bored today. It's crappy outside so I'm cooped up with the inquisitive lizard who, as predicted, has no interest in using the habitat that I put together for her in the front of the store. She likes branch sitting ok when she's in her cage but when she's out she just wants to go through my stuff and climb on things that she shouldn't climb on. At least the habitat hasn't angered or frightened her at all. That's usually what happens when I try to help.

Well, today's slang word of the day is:

Bitch Box n. [1940's] (U.S.) A small box into which employees of a business can put their complaints or suggestions.

"Tell it to the bitch box."

Sunday, September 23:

I made some big beads this week. I'm trying to come up with a good name that expresses their extreme textural quality. I haven't come up with one yet but in doing research for a name I came up with a good real word of the day:

Tubercled Furnished or affected with tuburcles. Tubercle comes from the Latin tuberculum which is a small swelling, boil or pimple also a nodule or bump. Not quite lyrical enough for a bead name but it's useful none the less.

In other news...I've been reading a lot about pet ducks on the internets. Aside from the pooping, which is a major drawback, I can't imagine why more people don't have a pet duck. They are hearty and can live outside, many breeds are quiet and they lay eggs. If you get them young enough they imprint on you and follow you around. What's not to like? I'm not planning on exploring any legality issues with keeping a pet duck in the city of Madison because...you know...who cares? Besides, you can have chickens here so I assume you can have a duck. And a duck costs less than $3.00. You'd be crazy to not want a pet duck. Maybe next Spring.

Friday, September 21:

Remember Don's pants? The ones that he was supposed to wear for a year without washing them? They started falling apart after 7 months. I think he turned them in in January of this year. Anyhoo, the pants are up on the web now along with some beefcake shots of him wearing the pants and brewing beer. Enjoy! That chapter of our lives is now officially closed.

So today I've got two things weighing heavily on my mind. The first one is that I need an intervention with respect to the amount of time I spend each day playing Free Cell (solitaire computer game). I started out playing it while I was waiting for my pictures to download and now I'm up to playing it a couple of hours a day. I need help! The other thing I've been thinking about is getting a duck for a pet. I need to think about it much much more but right now it seems like a good idea. I've always liked ducks.

Today's slang word is:

Biscuit City n. [1980's] Something one desires, the absolute best thing or situation. [colloq. phr. to take the biscuit+city]

Playing free cell is fun but playing free cell with a pet duck on your lap would be biscuit city.

Wednesday, September 19:

The other day James was regaling us with a story from his youth. Apparently he lost his watch in a mosh pit while enjoying a punk band. At that point I stopped listening because I was siezed by an idea. Wouldn't it be funny to remake the movie "My Fair Lady" but instead of trying to refine Eliza Doolittle they would be trying to teach her to speak with a Boston accent and instead of making her say "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain" they would make her say "I lost my watch in a mosh pit"? I say that would be funny. I am giggling about that still.

Today's slang word is:

Trusty Trout n. [17th-19th c.] A boon companion or best friend (also true trout)

Tuesday, September 18:

I got free beads in the mail from AH. What did I do to deserve this, I wonder? He must think I'm still a bead store because the sample came with a wholesale price list. If I order an assload (5000) of them, I can get beads like these for as little as 39 cents each. Other than the fact that they still don't know how to remove bead seperator from the bead holes, these look like regular beads to me. The middle bead is a little sloppy but the rosebud one at the top is really nice. He's got a pretty nimble-fingered slave bank working for him, I tell you what. And a huge one, too. 5000 beads--can you imagine?

Meanwhile...Don came up with today's word. It's a real one this time:

Aqualine adj. From the Latin aquila meaning eagle it means 1. curving like an eagle's beak or 2. of, relating to or resembling to an eagle.

Sentence: Paris Hilton has an aquiline nose. Don't make her peck you.

Monday, September 17:

The above picture was the first and best one that I took all weekend. That guy hauling the enormous cow was flying down the road. We finally passed him after following him for about twenty miles then he passed us and I got the picture. Oh, how happy I was!

Bead and Book went great. I got rid of a bunch of inventory. I also sold some very strange beads that I did not think I was going to sell as well as three "Bite Me" pins. I love crowds that dare to buy the "Bite Me" pins. That idea is pure gold as far as I'm concerned. Amongst the laid-back folks in Madison the pins sell well but the bead show crowds are a little more mature and they've never been especially interested in them. So that was a pleasant surprise, having people buy the wackier things. I enjoyed that. I've got many beads leftover which I will be posting shortly on Ebay and the website.

Slang word of the day:

Russian Salad Party n. [1950's-1970's] An orgy in which all of the participants are covered in baby oil.

I don't think anyone has used this in a sentence since the 70's. It's probably for the best.

Friday, September 14:

...from last year, that is. You know, we do care here on East Johnson St. but sometimes we have a hard time showing it.

Already I am good to go for the Bead and Book Sale. I'm done early! How did that happen? I managed to scare up some pretty strange things from past projects around the store that will be up for sale. Interesting things you may or may not want. Doesn't that sound enticing? Doesn't it?

Last year when we went down for the show we stopped at a Czech restaurant the night before. We were the youngest people in the whole eatery. I had meat, meat, meat, mashed potatoes and sauerkraut. Don had meat, meat, meat, sauerkraut and dumplings. We both had the soup, which was also meat (liver dumpling). With only a soup spoon at hand I was trying to figure out how best to break down my liver dumpling for ingestion when the bowl flipped over and spilled into my lap. I'm bringing extra pants with me this year 'cause we're probably going there again.

So I spaced the slang word of the day yesterday. That's not the last time that will happen, I am sure. Today's word is:

Sit down money n. [1970's] (Aus.) An unemployment benefit.

Bill was unable to collect sit down money for an injury he sustained at the doughnut factory because the management felt they were not responsible for his feathered boa getting caught in the dough machine.

See you Monday!

Wednesday, September 12:

Baby, it's cold outside. S'posed to be dipping into the 30's already. Killing machine that I am I got rid of my unruly tomato and morning glory plants before they could freeze. (That's a really bad idea, by the way, two viney plants next to each other. They tend to combine into one super vine from which it is extremely difficult to either harvest tomatoes or enjoy the pretty blooms. I think the super vine, having consumed the satellite dish, had the potential to interfere with our tv reception.) Anyways, I nipped that in the bud.

Here's a slang term you will never have the opportunity to use:

Ripe Banana n. [1950's] (West Indies) A derog. term for an albino.

Having checked 'albino' off the list I guess there's derogatory terms for everyone now.

Tuesday, September 11:

I found the above creation in a drawer back at the house. I like it. We have several coffee and tea inspired pieces but this is the only one I got a decent picture of. Yep. Coffee.

Anyways...To mix things up a little I've got a word for you today that's a real word rather than a slang term. It came up last night after band practice when the someone brought up the word "whomp" (which is a combination of the words "whip" and "stomp"). Of course there is a term for such a combined word and of course Don knew what that word was. Even though Don always knows what that word is I was quite impressed, nay shocked, that he knew this one off the top of his head. He's so brainy.

So today's word is:

Portmanteau -A factitious word made up of blended sounds of two distinct words and combining the meanings of both. (Portmanteau is also a noun meaning a case or bag carrying clothing.)

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, Lewis Carroll was the first to use this word in the former definition. It's first known usage was in 1872. From Through the Looking Glass "Well, 'slithy' means 'lithe and slimy'...you see it is a portmanteau."

I love the OED. And what a cool word that is! Can you think of some other portmanteaus? I can. How about 'craptastic' and 'spork'? Did you know this word existed? I sure didn't. Knowledge is power.

Monday, September 10:

Spent the weekend helping Don and Erica re-locate their respective welding operations from their old shop to her and our respective houses. Erica, as you may recall, is a scrap metal artist so she owns tons and tons of metal things such as the letters in the above picture. Buckets of letters. And musical instruments. And hinges. And scissor blades. And shit that you don't know what it is but it looks cool. I thought it was pretty fun digging through all that stuff so I had a good time. It was also very, very dirty time. The dirt factor was compounded by the fact that the move coincided with the worst mosquito outbreak that I have ever experienced. So all the black metal dust that covered my hands spread quickly and evenly over the rest of my body when I tried to slap away the mosquitos. After the first day my legs were a mass of black dust and mashed mosquitos.

Did I ever tell you that I am not allergic to mosquito saliva so I don't get the itchy welts when mosquitos bite me? It's true. Neither does my brother though both of our parents do. On the other hand, I am allergic to bacitracin zinc--a main ingredient in almost all antibiotic ointments. Ointment will give me the itchy welts especially if I use it on a deep wound. So it is a possible, though unlikely scenerio, that my mosquito bite free life may one day end prematurely because of infection. Just another reason to live for today.

Today's slang word is:

Sky Juice n. [1920's-40's] (U.S) Rainwater.

Sky juice may be a contributing factor in our mosquito population explosion.

Saturday, September 8:

Slang word of the day:

Screaming Gasser [1940's] (U.S. Black) A police car moving at speed and sounding it's siren.

This is one of the few words that sounds like it could be about sex or bodily functions but isn't.

You probably heard that Paris Hilton is suing Hallmark over using her likeness and her copywritten catch phrase "That's Hot" without her permission. I hate both of these entities so much I just don't know who to root for. Can't we just have them fight to the death? I'd pay $2.49 to see that.

Friday, September 7:

Slang phrase or word of the day:

Raggedy Android n. [1950's-1960's] (camp gay) An unsuccessful and thus impoverished male prostitute.

Many of the origins of these phrases are described as being "gay" or "camp gay". "Gay" is not defined in the dictionary lexicon but "camp gay" is described as "stereotypically effiminate". I'm not sure what means--if it refers to the person using the worrd or the word itself. I'm just trying to give you all the information I can.

Geez, Louise. I keep forgetting to post a link to the NEW Despair.com BLOG. As many of you already know, Despair.com is the creator of Demotivator greeting cards. I used to give those away with purchases until I ran out of them. Anyhoozle, what's great about the blog is that it has video excerpts from the Despair video "The Art Of Demotivation". In a nutshell, the video tells you how to create a more loyal workforce by breaking down employee self-esteem to the point where the employee feels grateful to have a job at all. Funny, funny stuff! As far as I can ascertain the videos do not actually work (typical) but the audio does and it's quite rich. Give it a listen. I like the one entitled "Self Narratives".

Thursday, September 6:

Today for you I have a helpful hint. Do you have a door in your house that won't stay closed but that you need to keep closed? Not one that needs to stay shut all the time, mind you, but one that you need to go in and out of. (If it could stay shut all the time I would reccommend nailing it shut.) So, do you have a door like that? I do! Know how I keep it closed? Just fill a Crown Royal bag (any cloth bag with a drawstring will work--a sock with a drawstring would work, if you have one of those) with several pounds of pennies and thread the drawstring under the door. Pull the door closed and yank the the drawstring and the bag as far under the door as you can. Then the door stays closed! I thought it was pretty darn clever of me to figure that out. I bet there's lots of things that a bag of pennies will help you avoid fixing. I was trying to think of more yesterday when I was cleaning and pricing all those friggin' trays of bead pendants but none came to mind. Yesterday was dull.

In other news...The bathroom ants are on to me--they've stopped eating the Terro! Frankly, I'm stunned. Ants always eat Terro. I'm going to buy a new batch but I think I may be boned on this one. Stupid house centipedes won't take their turn at the wheel.

In yet other news....I've been meaning to blog a slang word of the day for quite some time. I wrote out a list of amusing ones from the Slang Dictionary and then promptly misplaced the list. Just now I rifled through the office and found the list (yay!) along with the gas and electric bill I forgot to mail last month (boo!). Anyhoo, here's the slang word of the day:

Snowing Down Below! excl. [1930's-1940's] (N.Z.) an excl. to a woman that her petticoat is showing.

That one won't come in very handy these days but I like it anyway.

Wednesday, September 5:

Here's a piece of sewer pipe that lives near my house. Hello, sewer pipe! I'm bored. I've been taking pictures of people and things in complete darkness so as to catch them unawares. So far I've gotten some good shots but if I do it too much you get the angry glares. I'm still enchanted with my tiny camera.

Anyhoo-I guess I'll be selling at the Bead and Book sale in Northlake Ill on Sunday, Sept.16. Check out the vendor's list--there's lotsa great people there! It'll be fun! I'll be selling lots of stuff--mostly inventory from the store--bead pendants and such that I made back in the day and some other people's stuff. The will be mask beads and fish as well, of course, but what I really want to sell is all the older stuff that I don't want to list on Ebay. Please, please come and buy it. Deals will be made.

Sunday, September 2:

I don't get this poster. I walk by it every day on the way home from work. I didn't notice it until Bob Foster pointed it out to me one day and now I can't stop thinking about it. What message is it trying to convey? "What if you were HIV positive? I would smile through the tears." WTF? So odd and inappropriately cutsey. And...I don't know if I've ever brought this up before but anime really creeps me out. I don't know if all anime is highly sexualized bodies beneath the face of a five year old child or if that's just the only kind of anime I've seen. Anyway, there's something wrong about it. It creeps me out generally and also because it's so popular. Yuck. I don't get this poster. Somebody help me out here.

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May and June 2007

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August 2007